The fundamental reason why we fail to change is that we have beliefs about who we currently are, which creates a stronger reality than the one we want.
We all live in a Groundhog day to some extent, at least in some areas of our lives. Why is it that the slightly overweight person can never seem to get in shape, despite years of trying? Why is it that your female friend always seems to get in the exact same type of relationships that leave her heartbroken, and never realizes that she’s repeating the same dynamic with a different person? Why do some people just always complain about the world and never change their behavior?
How are we supposed to obtain our dream of getting into medical school, if deep down we believe we’re stupid? Your own belief of who you are will cause you to self-sabotage in some shape or form. How are you supposed to attract the perfect partner, if deep down you believe you’re completely unworthy and unattractive?
The number one reason why people fail to change is because of limiting beliefs.
Beliefs make up our perception. What we believe is literally what we perceive the world to be, and is therefore our version of reality. In fact, our entire world and society is just one giant perception. Money as a means of trade is just another thing that we’ve agreed upon. If you take away the perception, money is LITERALLY just a useless piece of paper. Beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Society requires perception in order to function. All of the world wars we have are over perception. He said, she said, and a 100 million off to the grave. This is our history. Perception is also the root cause of all miscommunication. If you say something, someone else may interpret it through their lens of reality.
Perception is why when you tell people you want to do great things, they’ll usually shun you for it. “What’re you talking about? That’s hard.” “Nah, that’s only for some people”. “Nah, you’re not the kind of person that could do that”. You’re literally questioning their version of reality, and they’d rather bring you down to their version of reality, than have to face the uncomfortable dissonance of questioning their own beliefs.
Knowing this, it’s imperative to dive into our own beliefs and question them. What are we believing to be true that is making our lives a living hell? Through effective introspection and recognition of our limiting beliefs, we can maneuver around them and still behave according to the ideal we have set in mind.
This is just the start though.
Knowing our limiting beliefs on a logical level does not dissolve them at their core. The Tony Robbins, hypnotherapy revolution has been shown to be ineffective at yielding long-term, substantial change. Courage alone can get you the external results you’re after, but it can’t get rid of Imposter syndrome. It can’t give you inner peace. You can’t willpower your way into a genuine relationship because you can only attract who you are.
The process of getting rid of our limiting beliefs begins when we wake up to the realization of who we actually are. And who we are is not something that can be described, but for explaining purposes, we can say that we are awareness. We start to become aware of our beliefs and the past experiences that we’ve collected, that come up in the form of energies and visitors in our guest house. This is the day-to-day reality for everyone on earth. Our ability to respond to the present moment and it’s needs starts to grow as we, the awareness, grow stronger, and the negative energies that pop up gradually lose their power.
If we relate to the present moment with an acceptance, or a love, in spite feeling the weight of our negativity, the process of purification will occur. If you can truly let go and not “go there”, not succumb to the negativity, you will actually let go of the blockages that tether your soul.
Willpower can get you results, but it cannot wake you up. You will still be acting from the same place of hurt that you were trying to escape. The same hurt is what motivates you to want better external results, because you think that’ll be the answer. And it probably will be to a large extent. Until inevitably, life will force you to look at yourself and you will have to start the process of waking up. It’s an inevitably, because the will to power that sets forth all of our actions is searching for truth, for happiness, for the good. No matter what choices you make, they will only work to inevitably lead you to the same truths. Humans are simply trying to expand their consciousness. As the saying goes, you can run, but you can’t hide. You can run your whole life and create a rich life with people all around you. Yet because you can’t hide, it will all come crashing down onto you. The end quote in The Great Gatsby expresses it perfectly. “And so we float on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”. You can’t move forward through willpower alone. There must be awareness in order for you to dissolve your patterns at it’s root.
The solution is to prioritize self-awareness and self-acceptance as much as we prioritize self-responsiblity, self-growth and self-actualization.
The process of becoming more aware is also the process of letting of limiting beliefs. As we grow aware, we also grow in our ability to recognize truth. Therefore, the letting of false beliefs that we cling on to also naturally occurs.
It is not a process that is a straight road forward. There will be many bumps along the way. However, as long as you continue along on the road of awareness, you will get closer and closer to to an inner peace, a consistent presence and focus of mind, and an ability to respond with compassion and love.