Acceptance can heal and is the path to genuine self-esteem.
When you meditate regularly, what happens is all the emotional baggage that you have inside of you comes up to greet you. Any extended period of time you spend with yourself will force you to battle it out with your inner demons.
All that Freudian, Jungian talk about repressions starts to make a little more sense. As your awareness grows, you notice yourself amidst projection, rationalization and other defense mechanisms. You see how your ego is trying to save face when it feels pain inside. And you see how the answer is to accept all parts of your being for who they are.
The only true way to healing is to love all parts of yourself, not just the parts of yourself you believe are acceptable, or that society accepts. This is subtle, and it’s tricky, and it requires unwiring some automatic habits.
What will happen, overtime, is the fear, anger and grief that was running you will melt away like deadwood. You will realize the problems you had were you chasing your own tail, and that the only problem you really had was that you thought you had a problem. You will see your thoughts as just an extension of your emotions, and will not pay any attention to negativity, boxing the negativity into the same category as the hurt part of you that is trying to self-protect.
This is the entire spiritual path.
For the pragmatists and the realists
“Shut up and get a job hippy”, you might be thinking. Here’s why acceptance is still absolutely the answer even if you aren’t that spiritually inclined.
Acceptance will allow you to accept your insecurities, low-self esteem issues, lack of feeling comfortable around others. In accepting the discomfort, you actually take back your power it has over you. When you are in resistance the problems seem to grow and your sense of their being something wrong and for you to need to go do something to fix that wrongness will increase! By choosing to give up the fight, and accepting yourself inspite of what your feelings or thoughts may be saying to you, you transcend the issue.
It’s important to understand that this is a long-term solution. By continuously, day in and day out, choosing to accept, you will build self-love and compassion. You will have more energy because your willpower isn’t being drained by internal resistances. Internal surrender is the secret to non-stop productivity, and fundamentally is extremely pragmatic.
This is the only way to resolve emotional issues, is to face them. The degree to which we don’t want to face negative emotions is uncanny! You have to accept all parts of yourself, good and bad. Imagine the sky getting pissed off at it’s clouds (metaphor) for raining! Isn’t that what we do? Allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions life has to offer. Enlightenment is like the weather. Nothing else.